It's time to fucking make things happen. Everytime my friends n I plan something it always backfire. Even the adventure cove trip with bi doesn't go well. In fact, almost every trip we plan didn't work out in the end.
From now on, I'll use my old method of doing things. Too much of me compromising n saying "it's okay, there's always a next time."
From now on, whatever I want, I'll get it. I don't wanna waste my life like this anymore. It's sickening. It makes me feel dead. Utterly disgusted by the way I live now. I'm always at home reading a book or watching tv. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that but there must also be a time where I'm having fun ma? I'm not even into drinking now. I'm so desperate for fun I just want to be outside, with u n just relax.
I'm going crazyyyyyyyy
Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder (historically known as manic–depressive disorder or manic depression) is a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of a frenzied state known as mania (or hypomania), typically alternating with episodes of depression.
At the lower levels of mania, such as hypomania, individuals appear energetic and excitable and may in fact be highly productive. At a higher level, individuals begin to behave erratically and impulsively, often making poor decisions due to unrealistic ideas about the future, and may have great difficulty with sleep. At the highest level, individuals can experience very distorted beliefs about the world known as psychosis.
Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes; some experience a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. Manic and depressive episodes typically last from a few days to several months and can be interspersed by periods of "normal" mood.
Signs and symptoms
In bipolar disorder, people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) mood states which interfere with the functions of ordinary life. Many people with bipolar disorder also experience periods of depressed mood, but this is not universal. There is no simple physiological test to confirm the disorder. Diagnosing bipolar disorder is often difficult, even for mental health professionals. In particular, it can be difficult to distinguish depression caused by bipolar disorder from pure unipolar depression.
The younger the age of onset, the more likely the first few episodes are to be depressive. Because a bipolar diagnosis requires a manic or hypomanic episode, many patients are initially diagnosed and treated as having major depression.
-Source from www.wikipedia.org
I just want to be normal again, to feel normal again. I hate being so awkward around humans, I hate not smiling, I hate being happy for one moment and knowing sadness will take me away again.
All my life I just wanted to be happy. Why is it so hard?
Misunderstandings will be cleared as long as you open your mouth to voice out what's troubling you. I wish there's a time machine, a life remote control and a Aladdin's lamp.
I want to go back to a certain period of time, pause at the happy moments and wish that it'll never end.
