Givan Lim, 18. Libra Baby : 13'Oct.

♥ Shaiful ♥








Designed by: Ahting

Past.

July 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
June 2011
July 2011
January 2012
February 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013

Since you say you want read my blog......... than ok lor i specially update for you.

Hi pretty boy. I love you. ^_^ HAHAHAHA UPDATE LIAO. BUAII BUAII TEXT ME LA NOOB!!!!


Shopping. Ktv with family, drink and dance, fireworks, waiting for shai to bathe finish than fb msg me.

I must forget the past. It's better to have a new future.


Fucking bitch. Why I come online than you not online?? :'( I miss you alot y'know anot.

I want you to come online now. You've kept me waiting for two hours, I'm getting very impatient >:(

But whatever, I still love you. <3


Okay, all boils down to one thing. You're confused.

You just did the impossible, you gained my trust. And than you suddenly send me that kind of message and I'M LIKE WOW. STAY COOL.

MUST. STAY. COOL.

Okay actually ya THAT'S FUCKING PAINFUL OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING AGAIN CAN I JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE WHAT THE FUCK.

It's like as the saying goes: You bring me up than you crashed me down. WA CB I TOTALLY FEEL LIKE THIS OK.

BUT NEVERMIND. I DONT KNOW LA. HOW TO TRUST YOU, YOU TELL ME LOR. I CAN DO ONE I ALL DO ALREADY.

You don't believe that I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU. you want me post on fb I also post liao, even my fb account email and psw you also know :( What more you want you tell me :(

This is just gonna make me miss 2010 more. Meeting me later at night right, you better give me good explanation because apparently I'm leaving Singapore tomorrow morning.


There is a phobia to everything. You can fall in love, but you'll still be afraid of the outcome. He can be sweet to you, telling you honey coated words right from the start you both started the conversations, but you can don't believe any of it. You can dream of being with him, but you're worried.

What if you end up being the same as any other guys? If I get into any of this shit again I srsly will go ki siao.

Happiness, please don't run away again. :'( Stay with me can anot?


Havoc last night, things turn out ugly because of one fucking misunderstanding. I know everyone's very protective of me, but aiyo... :'(

After yesterday, everything just dawned on me that whatever I'm doing now is retarded. fucking retarded. I must stop liking a guy that don't bother. SEA GOT ALOT FISH MA, SLOWLY FIND LOR.

I got my eyes on one already, this is a good start. Boring till I don't know what to type. K BYE


HELLO TO NOBODY IN PARTICULAR, since I don't think anyone is reading anyway. Lol.

But the view stats (on the right) is always jumping, WHICH MEANS, SOME HUMAN IS READING!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO although I have no idea who reads~~

Might be my mom or my dad HAHAHAHA k lame.

Going cine to shop shop shop with my younger brother, than go dinner with friends, than D8 at night yay yay yay yay!!!!!!!

PICTURES TMR. Promise bye :-)




I miss those blue eyes, how you kissed me at night. I miss the way we sleep like there's no sunrise. I like the taste of your smile, I miss the way we breathe.

But I never told you, what I should have said. No I never told you. I just held it in and now I miss everything about you. I can't believe I still want you. After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you.

I see your blue eyes every time I close mine. You make it hard to see where I belong to when I'm not around you. It's like I'm not with me.

I'm getting more and more numb everyday.

Do you know?

Do you know that your toothbrush, your towel, your apple boxer, your clothes and pants are still at my house?? Yes, the toothbrush has been lying in the bathroom for 7 months, your clothes are still in my brother's cupboard.

The presents you gave, the diary I wrote while we're together, our movie tickets, the things I drew for you are still on my table. If you come to my house right now, you'll see everything still the same as 7 months ago.

I miss how happy I was when I'm with you. I miss your nonsense, I miss your jokes, I miss your laughter, I miss your smile.

I miss your hugs, I miss your kiss, I miss you cooking maggi mee for me, I miss eating together with you, I miss having steamboat with you, I miss debating with you who have more brain.

I miss taking care of you when you're sick, I miss you scolding me when I did something wrong, I miss the fun times we had together, I miss the times when we both were on the phone, I miss the times when we tell each other how we are "married" to each other.

I miss joking with you and saying that our wedding will be held in a large patch of grass and God will be our witness and that we'll get married with no diamond rings but just a ring made of tree brance.

Remember when you were sick and you called me to fetch you home from Party World cuz you're still working?? Remember that time when you got a very high fever and I was so worried cuz you were admitted to CGH and had to put the drip. Remember the other time when we ran away from police together and you held my hand and ran through the road even when the cars are all horning at us?

Do you still remember how you jumped over the fence but I can't jump through because I don't know how but you still came back and held my hand and than ran again? Remember how protective you were of me whenever boys came near me?

Do you remember how innocent we were when we just got together? Do you even remember the happy times we had?

Do you remember there's this one time when we walked back home from Hougang Mall and you purposely send me home because you're scared that I'll be kidnap by some baddies? And than you played this song "Only One - Yellowcard" and you sang to me while you held my hand.

It's those little things that you do that make me hold on for so long. I don't want to forget you.

I don't want to let go but I have to. It's painful to ask you to stay if you wanna leave. I wanna break free, I really want to but it's difficult ok? Í'm not you, I can't fall in love with another person so easily after all that we've been through.

I miss you so much that it hurts. What's worse is that I can't tell you. Fucking bitch, I'm crying again while typing all this.

I'm still waiting for a miracle to happen, I'm still waiting for you to come back to me.


I need to flood my blog with pictures. SO DEAD WTF.

Going Genting in one week's time. Thinking back of all the CNY I spend with you all, it's still painful. Why ah??

From 2009 till 2012, it's been three years. Hey bitch, two years is a very long period for me ok. I don't know how the fuck you actually managed to forget all that we've done during this two years but I just can't find myself to forget it.

Yes, I can don't talk about it. I can pretend I'm fine but it's still painful, ok? I can't share with anyone because they all thought I've gotten over you but the fucking fact is no, ok maybe yes, maybe I've already forgotten you. I don't know.

I forgot you when I got tgt with S. But after all the things I found out what S did, I realised I won't love another guy like how I loved you.

Bitch you were my family. You were someone whom I relied on for years, someone I grew up with.

So it's been like what, 7 months since we broke up. I really hope I don't love you anymore. I hope it's just that I miss the memories I have with you, because those were happy memories. I can't afford to love you anymore.

Because you've already moved on, it's time for me to move on too.


Nonsensical conversation with Shaiful last night!!!















Okay so now's the time to test how fast I can type in OMG NOW I ONLY LEFT 6 MINUTESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Er.... Nothing much happened today. I went to apply for higher nitec with Atiq, than had dinner in school, waited for MichelleP to come over, had a small catch up session, da bao-ed for Benny and co, went over to CGH to visit that noob.

When I reached there, Ben called me asked me to smoke. I was like thinking DA FUGGGG??? How he know I'm there?????

Anyway whatever la, found him at the car park than, had a stick, than called Benny they all to come down cuz if go up too squeezy. They ate their dinner and Benny was like playing with the bloody wheelchair.

Which reminds me of last week when me, Benjamin and Benny just sat on a wheelchair each and tried to play catching in the hospital HAHAHAHAHA HAVOC MUCH HAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOL. Worse is everyone was looking at us three idiots sitting on the wheelchair "running around" and screaming. DA FUGGGGGGGGGG

We stopped when the "policeman" came and said "er bro, the wheeelchair cannot play one"

HAHAHAHA RETARDED OFFICER LOL.

So we stopped playing lor. Anyway back to today....

Te ming and Jia de came also, than me, Benny, Claudia, Benjamin, Donovan, Betty waited for Marcus to come.

HAHAHA HIS BOTAK HEAD. SO CUTE. Like small boy~

Haiyo although he can't see this, but really hope he mean it when he say he's gonna change his punk lifestyle. He's not a bad boy by nature, how can a guy who always help the elderly and animals be bad??

It's just his hot temper. But temper can be changed! You just have to try hard. I believe you can do it, you did control your temper once before, didn't you? Do it again. It's not hard at all, the problem is you keep hypnotizing yourself that you can't control your temper.

Hmm. Anyway, Shawn text me today. We even talked on the phone, seems like the past when I'm his best friend. Hopefully things remained like this, I don't want anything more than our friendship. You got your girlfriend already, I don't like to be third party and you know it.

Even if I really still love you, I will never ever ever show it out. No, I can't be selfish and spoil another girl's happiness, right??

I don't need a man to survive, I can survive on my own!


Shawn text me last night. He auto text me. I don't get it.

Out of the blue he tell me "U mus go schl.. etc.. ok?"

Anyway, thats not the main point. Best was sentence to one year hostel. I half expected that, fat said he's was a serious one. Anyway, one year very fast pass one la.

Just hope that he will really keep his promise and not disappoint me. Best, you say you won't disappoint me one hor. :'(

Supposed to meet Shaiful for his job interview but till now he haven even reply lor. Jitao clever to the max, but not clever enough when he use fb to comment on best's wall. -_-

I feel very sleepy. Lots of things to do today, but so little time.


This fucking retarded idiot, the once so innocent boy is going to court tmr.

I still remember the scene when he called and said he slashed someone.

Sometime in 2010
Me, Marcus, Eamon, Sylester, Zhong Yu and others were having picnic. We did invite agua, but he didnt come because he said he had ""something to attend to". We didn't think much of it till later at night when we were all about to leave pasir ris, we received a call from him.

"Marcus, I just slashed somone. What am I supposed to do now??"
"Don geysiao la. You where dare. Joke only" *Tells everyone in a sacarstic tone agua slashed someone*

"No no, really!! I slashed someone and I threw the knife at the grass patch nearby"
"FOR WHAT FUCK YOU PUT IT THERE, GO BACK AND BRING IT BACK HOME!!"

The conv was long, we were worried.

Best, you were the one there for me when I needed you. You were the one I slacked with everyday without fail for about two years. Even when I'm not together with Marcus anymore, you remained as my best friend and continued to be there.

You scold me when I do wrong things, you cared for me when I'm sick. Best of all, we spent our Xmas tgt last year!

Remember on New Year I called you up because you have work early in the morning the next day so me and fat couldn't come over to your hse to celebrate?? I called you in the middle of the celebration outside and I told you to be my best for 2012, 2013, 2014 and many more years to come.

You laughed and said ok ok you will.

I know I've been harsh and told you that you must accept whatever punishment thats been given out to you. I thought you'll most probably get probation because during your trial your conduct was good.

I don't know, I'm kinda lost for words now. I just want the best to happen tomorrow.

Others might think "hostel nia", for me I think I lost a good friend to confide in during the weekdays, someone I can call to have dinner with after your work, and someone who really understands me.

If you really go in hostel, don worry. I'll book you on every home leave. Me and fat will accompany you. Love you best. Good luck for tmr.


I can be strong, I can be happy. I realized I've been complicating things right from the start. Why do I even need a boyfriend? It's not as if I can't survive on my own. Without a boyfriend, I can do whatever I like. I have more freedom and I have more money to spend.


Going back to the corner where I first saw you, gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move. Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am? "

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand. I'm not broke, I'm just a broken hearted man. I know it makes no sense but what else can I do?

How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet, and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving.

Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl, there are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world.

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved, maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news. And you'll come running to the corner, cause you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved


I was so bored last night till I text Shawn, no, in fact, I text every single contact in my contact list.

And I'm still bored. LAST NIGHT WAS THE MOST BORING NIGHT EVER. Can't go out because everybody is either in army, have work the next day or schooling. T_T Y MY LIFE SO BORING

Going school later to apply for higher nitec with Atiq, supposed to go ytd with MichelleP, Natasha, Clara and Ifah but I was too tired and too lazy to go out also.

I'm really bored, really really bored of life. There's nothing for me to look forward to except for Saturday when I'll have dinner with my bao bei(s) and then drinking at night.

No life. Fucking no life.


So... it's been a really long time since I came back here to rant. Just blog for the sake of blogging, so next time when I grow old, I can look back and laugh at myself (LOL)

So me and marcusA already broke up for 7 months. During this 7 months, lots of things happen. I was crying every, single day for 3 months, drinking every single day also, oh and getting drunk everyday, trying to understand why he left me bla bla bla.

Than Shawn tried to show me his love, so I did accept him in the end.

It took alot of courage for me to give up a 2 year relationship for Shawn. I still manage to forget MarcusA in the end and concentrate solely on Shawn. But Shawn was never satisfied. No matter how good I am, no matter how well I treat him, no matter how much I tried to stick to him, he will always accuse me of "ÿou haven't forget marcus", "you don love me at all", "ÿou're drinking because you haven forget marcus", etc.

Seriously by second month I'm already fucking tired of reassuring you that I don't love marcus anymore, I'm fucking tired of telling you that I only love you.

You're the one who told me to stop messaging you, so I stopped. But when I really stopped, you told me to message you, and so I did. But when I did message you, you didnt even bother to reply.

Fine, I've already gotten used to the fact that I'll receive less than 2 messages from you per day. I've already gotten used to the fact that you'll never pick up my calls no matter how urgent it is. I've already gotten used to the fact that you won't be there for me at all.

But what I'm really surprised when I realise not only do you not reply my messages, you didnt even BOTHER TO READ IT.

Oh yeah?? Surprised at how I found out yeah? I told you on a freaking Sunday that we're gonna go catch a movie, you didnt reply me for the whole of sunday till the next day which was a freaking monday afternoon close to evening and what did you say??

"Sorry baby I'm going town with my friends they already plan for a very long time liao"

__ you. Seriously just fuck you. And lots of other times when we already plan everything swee swee go out tgt and you'll suddenly pua stunt huh MIA with me. Cb I already keep inside my heart very long liao I fucking buay tahan anymore.

SMLJ??? I book KTV room everything, than knncb you pua stunt don pick up my calls? Ok nvm, thank God I didnt book the movie also, if not I think I will have to fucking watch alone.

I know I'm wrong in some ways when I kept on going to drink, but I did stop going, didnt I? Where are all the good in me??

You called me out of the blue one day after we broke up, saying I'm a typical ah lian, I don know how to study, I only know how to drink, smoke, take drugs. SMLJ. I KNOW LA. I GOT TRY TO STUDY WHAT.

I am not a fucking ah lian. Ah lians don behave the way I behave ok, this is life what. Which teen now don do all this you tell me lor. If by doing all this makes me an ah lian, than my parents are what?? I'm sorry to say this but what about your dad?? He drink and smoke also what.

I know you can see this, and c'mon, we were best friends, I know by doing this you will hate me. But I'm sorry, it's too late. You made the wrong choice the moment you walked out of my life.

I trusted you too much, S you should know me well. But not to worry, I've gotten over you, just like how you want it to be.

I don't want you back anymore, I just want you to be my best friend again.

I miss Marcus. I know I nag and everything, but have you ever thought it's for your own good?? urgh.

This is really messing up my life. I still can't let go.